Is There Always a Regina George? Mean Girls at Every Age
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“On Wednesdays We Wear Pink.”
I saw that quote on a t-shirt the other day--like I’ve seen dozens of other days—but this time it got me thinking about Regina George, the movie’s antagonist. She exemplified every “perfect” and popular girl that we all know and either loathe or love. Regina Georges reign over our high schools producing emotions like envy and terror. Recently I’ve started to wonder if there has always been and will there always be a Regina George in my life.
I’ll admit it, I’m a Mean Girls fan. And I don’t root for the “good guys.” I love Mean Girls– the good, the bad, and the bully. But that is just in the cinematic universe. I don’t enjoy the Regina George effect in real life.
The school years are easy. Was there a Regina George? Yes. Absolutely yes. There were always the girls others looked to in order to gauge how they should look, dress, and generally be. These “mean girls” had an aura of unshakable confidence and just seemed to know something the rest of us didn’t. Whether we succumbed to their pull, or railed against it, somehow their gravitational pull was always a factor. No matter how mean, divisive or catty, they were always surrounded by a large group of friends and they always got the guy. What the heck?
Did I escape her when I left the world of education and began my career? Was Regina George there? Yes. Absolutely yes. In my early career, there were the girls that effortlessly joined the rank and file and immediately elevated to become the “it” person. There she was at the center of happy hours and networking events, invited to important meetings, somehow always present and comfortable among leadership. What does this girl have that I don’t?
How about the mommy years? Surely Regina George is as tired as the rest of it. But there she is. Yes. Absolutely yes. I remember that as much as I looked forward to days when I could surprise my kids and pick them up from school, I also dreaded it. Walking into the gym to sign them out I was suddenly all wrong. I called them the “boot ladies.” They all knew to wear either Wellies or barn boots. Hair long and layered, but not too long or too layered. Perfect natural make-up. My otherness embarrassed me. I never looked right and even the women that I was friendly with would look over my shoulder and move away to Regina’s orbit as soon as there was an opening. Why couldn’t I ever seem to get it right?
Middle-aged Regina? Are you there? Yes. But no. Middle-age is when I realized that Regina isn’t really there. She is a projection of my insecurities. Every time I thought I needed to be smarter, better, funnier, or more popular, she was the person in the room who was able to pull off what I wasn’t. It made me feel better to categorize her as a mean girl. It was my way of lifting myself up by looking down on someone else. Wait, isn’t that what Reginas’ do?